Page Proofs of Doom

I've been working on page proofs for BLOOD BEFORE SUNRISE this week. This is the last time I'll get to make any corrections/changes to the book before it goes to print and I've been encouraged to keep my corrections to a minimum, meaning, spelling/grammar/punctuation only. This is not the time to make any big changes to the story/plot/etc.

I'm not going to lie. I get pretty neurotic during this phase of the process. It's sort of like going through the five stages of grief.

Denial:

I couldn't have possibly written this! What in the hell was I thinking?!? This is no good! How could this book suck so badly? Someone must have erased all of my words and replaced them with their own. That's it. I'm certain. These are not my words!!!!

Anger:

I used _______ word HOW many times in this scene?!?! How did I not catch this in copy edits?!?! I will ceremoniously burn these pages. Right after I smash my laptop to bits.

Bargaining:

Maybe if I ask really nice they'll let me re-write the entire book from scratch. I could offer to clean all of the Penguin offices for a year. I'll move to New York and live in the building! Brownies! I'll send pans and pans of brownies to the production staff. Once they've succumbed to the chocolate coma, they'll agree to let me start over. Bwahahaha!

Depression:

My life is over. My words are drivel. My life is over.

Acceptance:

I produced the best possible novel I could. I worked hard and there's nothing more I can do. Time to move on to the next story, the next manuscript. I am at peace. (That is, until reviews start to roll in. Hehe.)