Thursday, March 15, 2012

Page Proofs of Doom

I've been working on page proofs for BLOOD BEFORE SUNRISE this week. This is the last time I'll get to make any corrections/changes to the book before it goes to print and I've been encouraged to keep my corrections to a minimum, meaning, spelling/grammar/punctuation only. This is not the time to make any big changes to the story/plot/etc.

I'm not going to lie. I get pretty neurotic during this phase of the process. It's sort of like going through the five stages of grief.

I couldn't have possibly written this! What in the hell was I thinking?!? This is no good! How could this book suck so badly? Someone must have erased all of my words and replaced them with their own. That's it. I'm certain. These are not my words!!!!


I used _______ word HOW many times in this scene?!?! How did I not catch this in copy edits?!?! I will ceremoniously burn these pages. Right after I smash my laptop to bits.


Maybe if I ask really nice they'll let me re-write the entire book from scratch. I could offer to clean all of the Penguin offices for a year. I'll move to New York and live in the building! Brownies! I'll send pans and pans of brownies to the production staff. Once they've succumbed to the chocolate coma, they'll agree to let me start over. Bwahahaha!


My life is over. My words are drivel. My life is over.


I produced the best possible novel I could. I worked hard and there's nothing more I can do. Time to move on to the next story, the next manuscript. I am at peace. (That is, until reviews start to roll in. Hehe.)


Amanda Carlson said...

That was hilarious!! I felt like that in copyedits, which is why I hacked the book up and got in trouble. When I get page proofs, Imma need some whiskey :) Amanda, you rock!! The novel will be EXCELLENT!!

Indigo said...

I'm doing revisions, before I submit my WIP and all the above are exactly on point. I'll try to keep Acceptance in mind. In the end I think that's what it comes down to writing the best possible novel. (Hugs)Indigo

Stella Price said...

Sweet jesus that was funny. Dont worry it will be awesome.

funny in the 'hood said...

Awesome post, Amanda! And so, so true.

Everything will work out just fine :) I have faith in you!


Anonymous said...

I'll be over with a hug and a pitcher of mojitos as soon as these edits are through! (I don't want to disrupt you working.)Awesome post-I can actually see you in my mind working the steps! :)

Windy Aphayrath said...

wow, i missed an awesome post! however, i think i may have lived through this with you ...

Melissa (My words and pages) said...

Okay, I shouldn't laugh, but I love the way you put this. :) Good luck with the edits. :)